Chili, the basics

Today’s marvel of culinary excellence: Chili. There’s a million and a half recipes out there. Some overly complicated, some mostly tomato soup with beans. I like mine somewhere in between.

Our first step, as always, grab a decent glass and fill with 3 ice cubes. Grab the best whiskey you have and make sure those puppies are covered good. My go to is always Maker’s 46. Once that’s done, the magic can start.

The meat starts with 2 lbs of ground meat. I normally do half pork, half beef. Why? Because I like pork. Season with Lawry’s seasoning salt as it browns.

Once that is doing its thing in the skillet, the more critical stuff has to happen. For the soul of the soup, I use V8. You know, the vegetable juice? I find it gives a shit ton more character. After all, I like my characters to be more Jules, less Mr Brown.

Into the V8 soul, we gotta add a little extra. A full Anaheim, a full poblano, and two jalapeños along with a sweet onion. Some people just use one pepper. These people are WRONG. Different peppers give different flavors. They may be slight, but it’s there.

Now for the cheat. You didn’t think my ass wasn’t going to cheat did you? Take you a can of red kidney beans and a can of black beans, along with 2 cans of Rotel. If you live in an area that doesn’t have Rotel, it’s basically crushed tomatoes with seasonings and salt water.

By now, your meat should be getting pretty close to done. It don’t need to be all the way done. If you over cook it, you’re gonna lose all the fat. The fats where the flavor is. Why do you think I got so much flavor? Mostly drain the meat, and add to the soup.

Now we got 3 good options. Chili powder, smoked paprika, or a package of chili seasoning. I’ve done good with all three, and done bad with all three. Choose wisely.

Now the sucks part. Chili is not a meal that can be served in a hurry. It’s 11am here. I won’t put this on the table until tomorrow night. Low and slow, baby, low and slow. This is one of those things where the components need time. They gotta relax and get to know each other, they gotta influence each other. Chili that’s been thrown together too soon lacks any character, and remember, Jules. We want this pot to be a mushroom cloud laying motherfucker, motherfucker.

The best thing about cooking, it’s so easy to make it your own. And if you like the results, it don’t make a damned if nobody else does. It don’t even matter how you got there.

Damn, now I’m hungry.

This morning while getting all this together, I had to go with Texas Hippie Coalition. “Hands Up”. Got to have some good Red Dirt Metal while getting this Texas staple going. If you’re not familiar, they kinda got this Hank, Jr meets Pantera vibe going. They cant be bad if they got Vinnie Paul’s approval.

Fuzzy Duck

chili

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